Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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