peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
