I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
