My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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