She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
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