If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
