2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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