I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is wine microwaveable?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This toilet bowl is my home.
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