Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
