i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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