sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
