Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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