You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
