I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
