Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
