I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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