when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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