I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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