my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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