I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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