We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
