Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
