Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
