I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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