I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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