We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
