So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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