Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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