That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
