So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
3 2 1 whiskey
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
