so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
