Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
