pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
