So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
