I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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