i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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