a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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