We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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