i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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