Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
