i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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