i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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