Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she woke up with a sticky ear
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
