Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
