Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
