these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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