She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
