i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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