he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
