The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
