Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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