East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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