I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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