Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
