i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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