420 ftw
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
