Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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