if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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