I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
