It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
