she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
