New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
