you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
