the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
As shirtless as possible
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You pole danced in your parka.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
